it's a beautiful day outside but i'm stranded home to finish work.

no complaints tho, i love designing and hanging out with ember.

i'm listening to the song ease yourself and glide by parsley sound.

 

recently i have been trying to stay positive. spring truly brought me so much motivation.

after all the procrastination i kinda need to lock in for the rest of the quarter.

majority of the situation is me analyzing and being afraid of not being perfect - i keep telling the people i've tutored about this, but i still need to practice to avoid that myself.

 

this week enlightenment and clarity hit. i'm feeling a sense of individuality and initiative energy... maybe i finally figured out what i want. i think i learnt to differentiate my goal from my expectations. i'll just do whatever i need to do.

 

another thing that made me happy is how everything connects together. i love that 3 of my classes are all talking about fantastical narratives - with a lot of historical relevance and detailed expansion on hidden meanings connected with psychology and sociology. what can i say i still hold a passion for psychoanalysis and making sense of the world from different/new perspectives!.. (used to get stressed out about how being in arts and culture leaves me no job opportunities. but i love doing this so screw that)

 

and it was such a surprise to have found my dream journal in high school. co-star said my recent theme of life is to separate past from present - i think i'm doing a good job. no longer wining and crying about past trauma, instead i reflect and get inspiration/new learnings from it. i feel safe, i trust myself so much more...

(and my dreams are no longer the apocalypses...!!! last night i dreamt of my gums being cotton candy textured, and my teeth sunk and were wrapped around by them, like little sprouts newly planted in earth.  周公解梦 says that it means things are gonna be smooth and full of love and hope. hehe)